Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 9:30 AM
I've done cartoon licensed, comic licensed, and movie licensed games...and now, my first ever toy licensed game.
Barbie. Seriously? Fine. Barbie Super Model is a game based entirely on the popular doll for girls, or boys that are a little light in the loafers, if you know what I mean. I have no clue what kind of game this is. I can not categorize it as any type of genre I have ever played before. It's listed as an educational game, but I didn't learn shit.
I've got some bad news to tell you...it's about your son. He likes to play with Barbie dolls.
I'm not really sure what is supposed to be going on. ...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 12:02 PM
The name of this game is perfect. It lets you know what part of the anatomy it sucks.
Ballz 3D is a horrible excuse for a fighting game. First problem? Everything is made of balls. Next problem? They try to do 3D on a Super Nintendo. I'm pretty sure they realized how bad this game was because the first thing you see is a screen that says "Ballz" 30+ times. That's pretty funny when you consider that was what my original review of this game was going to consist of as well.
This is the only reason anybody even plays 3D fighting games. Don't bother trying to deny it.
Okay, lets start at the beginning. ...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 10:16 AM
Today's game is brought to you by the letter B! That's right folks, I have finished the games starting with numbers and A. Yay!
B.O.B. is a typical platforming game brought to us by none other than Electronic Arts. And it sucks. What's that? You want some back story? Okay. I hate EA as a company, and I usually transfer that rage onto their games. However, for the sake of my quest, I will put aside my hatred and attempt to play and judge their games with fairness and equality. With that being said, this game still sucks.
We start the game with an intro so boring, that 90% of the text actually...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 3:04 PM
What the hell? Two really good games in a row? My luck must be changing!
Axelay is an aerial shooter made by Konami. The word Konami is generally synonymous with the word awesome, and this game is no exception. Axelay is what the aerial shooter genre should strive to be. It's difficult to explain why this game is so amazing without going into further detail, so lets get this review going.
The game starts with a cut scene very reminiscent of the movie Independence Day. The only real difference is, this planet didn't have Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum to save the day. So, it went boom. In fact, the...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 2:04 PM
Once again, the sequel proves to be superior over the original in every way.
Much like yesterday's review, Asterix and Obelix is a platforming game based on the French comic by the same name. Unlike Asterix, however, this game is fun. Everything that was wrong with the first game has been fixed, and everything that was already good has been improved upon. I already went over the source material yesterday, so lets skip all of that and get to the review.
This time around, the game actually gives us a story. It is very brief, but it explains a whole hell of a lot more than Asterix did. Another improvement that you...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 8:02 PM
Oh joy! Another game based on a French comic that I have never heard of! I love these.
Asterix is another platforming game based on the very popular French comic, The Adventures of Asterix. Again, I have never even heard of this character before, but apparently he is HUGE in Europe. Like Tintin, Asterix has numerous movies based on it, some animated and some live action, and of course they both have their own games...but Asterix takes it a step further by having its own AMUSEMENT PARK. Yeah. That's awesome.
Why can't we have anything this cool? We get Six Flags and Disneyland. The French get...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 11:46 AM
So this is what fighting games were like before Street Fighter 2! Wait...this game came out AFTER Street Fighter 2? That's just depressing.
Art of Fighting is your traditional fighting game. It's also the first fighting game that I have got to play since starting this site. Unfortunately, it's really not good. I love fighting games, and I love SNK fighting games most of all. King of Fighters, Samurai Shodown, Fatal Fury...etc, I love them all. So, why do I not like Art of Fighting? Well, there is plenty to bitch about, but not a whole lot to enjoy.
Why do I love SNK games so much? I can sit here and give reasons all day, but...
Posted by Classically Trained Nub on 6:57 AM
This game truly surprised me, in a good way.
Arkanoid is a game in which you break bricks with a paddle and ball. Sounds pretty boring, right? Just another Breakout clone that we have all played hundreds of times now, right? WRONG! Arkanoid is a Breakout clone with a deep story and hard as fuck bosses. Best of all? I get to use my Super Nintendo mouse! I love when I get to use this thing.
There are literally thousands of Breakout clones, to the point where they have become their own genre. You can find at least one variant of the genre on every system, including the badass "Shatter" for the...
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