Friday, December 31, 2010


Writing a review for this has been difficult.  It's not a bad game, but it also gives me very little material to work with.  I beat the game two days ago, and I am just now getting around to writing something.

Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team is a beat 'em up that combines Rare's popular Battletoads franchise and the classic Technos Japan duo, Double Dragon.  Unfortunately, most of this game was made by Rare, and it shows.  It is still a decent game, but it could have been so much better.

When starting the game, we are introduced to the characters and story through a really good cut scene.  The Dark Queen has come to fuck shit up again, and for some reason, the toads feel they need help (despite being perfectly capable at beating her the first time).  They call in the world's finest heroes.  No, not Batman and Superman...the Lee brothers.  They are obviously the greatest heroes on Earth because they saved that girl that one time.  Anyway, pick one of the five available characters and we're on our way.

World's Greatest Heroes: Scott Wolf and that guy from Iron Chef America.  Yup, we're fucked.

Right from the start, I am annoyed.  Two buttons to jump and two buttons to do the exact same attack.  Why do developers do this?  Was anybody actually fooled by this?  Why not give jump and attack three buttons each?  That way the shoulder buttons can get some action as well.  Fucking lazy.

Next up is the music, and it definitely sets the mood.  A game with Battletoads and Double Dragon?  That premise alone reeks of the 90s.  And what were the 90's without hard rock power ballads?  The music in this game is exactly what you would expect: Awesome.

The graphics, however, were not so great.  The character sprites were pretty crappy.  The original Nintendo graphics for both Double Dragon and the Battletoads were a lot better, and that is pathetic.  Stage designs are mediocre, and the only nice thing to look at was the Dark Queen.

She was a brick house, she was mighty might-tay, just letting it all hang out.

And finally, we need to talk about the gameplay.  This game is good, but it should be more than that.  Let's look at the source of these characters.  Double Dragon is one of the all time greats.  Its simplistic beat 'em up style is what every game in the same genre has tried to be.  Battletoads, while mostly known for being outrageously hard, was also a pretty good little game.  So why is it when we combine these two franchises, we get a game that isn't worthy of either title?

Once again, Battletoads & Double Dragon is good.  Is it as good as either of the two franchises involved?  No.  But that does not mean that it isn't fun.  Despite my problems with it in general, I still had a pretty good time playing it.  Therefore, I'm giving it 4 Dark Queens out of 5.

Wow, no credit roll?  How sweet of them.

Oh, and one last thing....Happy New Year everyone.  I'll see you next year!

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