Tuesday, November 30, 2010


I've done cartoon licensed, comic licensed, and movie licensed games...and now, my first ever toy licensed game.

Barbie.  Seriously?  Fine.  Barbie Super Model is a game based entirely on the popular doll for girls, or boys that are a little light in the loafers, if you know what I mean.  I have no clue what kind of game this is.  I can not categorize it as any type of genre I have ever played before.  It's listed as an educational game, but I didn't learn shit.

I've got some bad news to tell you...it's about your son.  He likes to play with Barbie dolls.

I'm not really sure what is supposed to be going on.  From what I gathered, the story for this game is just Barbie dreaming about stuff.  Stupid and uneventful stuff.

Controls are straight forward.  You have a button to speed up and a button to slow down for the actual stages.  Then you can use all of the buttons to change the color of clothes or makeup for the mini games.

Audio isn't too bad.  The songs are looped, but the stages are short, so it's tolerable.

Graphically this game is kind of good.  The sprites of Barbie are god awful, but the backgrounds look okay.  During the mini games, Barbie looks a lot better as she is trying on different outfits or makeup.  And the further this review goes, the less manly I feel.  I need to go open jars or fix some cars.

After this review, I'm going to wrestle some bears.  Cause I'm a man.

Gameplay wise, this game is actually hard.  I'm not sure what the minimum score that is required to win is, but it took me a few tries to actually beat the game.  This minigames are all about memorizing a picture that is shown to you for 3 seconds, and then reproducing it.  The main game is about avoiding obstacles while grabbing stars.  You have to master both of these if you ever want to see the ending.  Or, you could just watch the video at the end of the review.

So, what's the verdict?  Well, from a gamer's perspective, it's pretty lame.  But I'm not who this game was intended for.  So, what does my daughter have to say about Barbie Super Model?  "This game is shitty."  I had to scold her for cursing (she's only 9), but I do value her judgment.  Therefore, I'm giving it 1 falling Barbie out of 5.

Seriously?  I played through this game multiple times just to see that?


Anonymous said... [Reply]

Ugh. I hated Barbie games when I was a little girl. Glad you played it and not me =P <3

Lewis said... [Reply]

cute Barbie games ;)

Copyboy said... [Reply]

Wow! You have a jr. reviewer in the wings! Dude I give you creds for boldly going where NO man has gone before.

SpringyB said... [Reply]

I laughed as soon as I read the title. You know, no one would think less of you if you skipped one every once and a while.

caretaker said... [Reply]

funny stuff

MikeyB said... [Reply]

hahaha thats retarded. you couldnt pay me to play that..actually u probably could.

Buff Drinklots said... [Reply]

Dude me and a group of friends just played that gmae, just for the hell of it.

Suciô Sanchez said... [Reply]

Confident in your sexuality. Good to see.

Chuck McElroy IV said... [Reply]

It scares me to know that Dan McNamara had a hand in this...

Leddi said... [Reply]

Your a braver man than I
This game looks painful!

David Davidson said... [Reply]

Just ridiculous

IDDQD said... [Reply]

I'm so glad I'm not the one doing these reviews! Seriously? BARBIE? oh, man..

HTT said... [Reply]

awesome !

cooperlife said... [Reply]

I liked playing with barbie dolls when I was a little boy. I loved to rub the lumps on their chest. I didn't know what I liked them... I still don't... I just did.

Gurney said... [Reply]

god my sister would drive my ass crazy playing this because i had to share my crap now and then

Super Rehab Clinic said... [Reply]

You must have nightmares doing this kind of thing. At any rate its bad if thats the comment your daughter gives =P Maybe you should label the game as rated M instead. "Chance to teach your kids to use bad language over poor game quality"

Tal Zahn said... [Reply]

Holy fuck I think I actually played this once before when i was little. :o

Babysitter's place when I was about 8-10. Limited amount of games, kids there got bored and so we tried all the different games. Just oh man was it funny how we all tried to get far in this, just so we could say we beat it)

If this is the game I am thinking of, it has barbie walking in a snow place, a mall, and maybe even riding a bike, right? if not, there's another barbie game out there. :X

John said... [Reply]

Do you actually own this game?

tigey said... [Reply]

I dont know about this...dont think it would be for my tastes

Anonfourtwenty said... [Reply]

Not so down for this one...

Colin B said... [Reply]

Oh come on guys, it doesn't look that bad...

... :(

Anonymous said... [Reply]

Lol I wouldn't be able to handle this game. I'll only play it if they paid me lol.

ThatGuy said... [Reply]

I know exactly what this game is. I gave it to my niece a while back and she hated it. Waste of money on part.LOL


nice following ur blog dont forget to follow mine

Major.Mack said... [Reply]

you gonna throw away that costume, it might look good on my old lady

Das Auto! said... [Reply]

haha, i can just picture myself playing that game.. i'd be like " i pressed twirl, you stupid bitch, NOT blow a kiss at the judge!"

*throws down controller* f*ck this game

(i realize that's not actually what u do in the game, tho lol)i think your daughter summed it up best

ImmaFrog said... [Reply]

that last image, bro. I loved that game. Final fight, i think it was named

Hip-Hop Hikikomori said... [Reply]

Shovelware seal of approval.

S said... [Reply]

boys playing with barbie dolls, new age education FTW :P

Longkid said... [Reply]

I laughed so hard reading this.

Seion said... [Reply]

I knew this review was going to be good just judging from the front page.

Surprisingly it's done better than the last two games though.

Astra said... [Reply]

Barbie games are and were terrible

Donkote said... [Reply]

lol i don't think ill ever play this game..

Mr Bouchard said... [Reply]

Even if the review would had been rated 5stars, I'd still rather open up some jars! :P

Telia Tuli said... [Reply]

no just no.
i bet this sold like hotcakes though

Lexington said... [Reply]

You dared to go where no man has gone before, atleast your sticking to it.

Abbott said... [Reply]

I play & enjoy this game.


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