Wednesday, November 10, 2010

REAL GAMES - AMERICAN GLADIATORS

American Gladiators.  What more can I say?  The original TV show was awesome, the game is not so awesome, and the new American Gladiators sucks ass.

BAHAHAHAHAHA.
I'm not sure why the American Gladiators game is so bad, but it is.  It has all of the original gladiators and the various events that made the show great, but it just lacks something.  I think it is because the game tries to be serious.  There isn't any goofiness or self parody to be found.  This is supposed to be a straight up sports game, regardless that your competition are people named ZAP and TURBO.  Then again, the name I chose for this was BALLS...so who am I to judge?

The game starts off with high res photos of the gladiators, along with their information and bio.  For instance, did you know that Thunder plays lacrosse, soccer, AND baseball?  He's also really good at swimming, and he studies martial arts!  Thanks, American Gladiators.  I'm sure that this worthless knowledge will come in handy some day.

Alright, the controls are all over the fucking place.  During some events, the shoulder buttons are used to run, other times they're for picking up and dropping the big nerf guns.  You have buttons to climb, to beat people with a jousting stick, to jump hurdles, and to pick up balls.  There is no rhyme or reason to any of the controls, so just mash buttons until something happens.

The music for this game is okay, but it feels like it doesn't belong.  I expected the American Gladiators theme song, and instead I got some random platforming style of music.

Graphics are a major disappointment.  We start the game off with a really good title screen, and high res profile shots of every gladiator.  But when you actually play the game, you get cheap and confusing stages.  The sprites in this game are little pegs for the most part, and they really take away from whatever event you happen to be playing.  They wasted all their potential on drawing you in, and they had none left for the actual game.

Look at the one on the left.  See anything wrong with that picture?
Playing this game is difficult, because a lot of things don't work.  For example, the gameplay of the first stage requires you to run to a podium, pick up a nerf gun, and shoot a target.  I have never hit the target.  My opponents have never hit the target.  I'm pretty sure it is impossible to actually hit the target.  So why is there a target?  Why do I have to pick up the guns and even attempt aiming if there is no point to it.  That's is how I feel about a majority of this game: No point in playing.

To sum everything up, American Gladiators was a disappointment, but still a decent game.  They tried different things, and some worked, but most did not.  I give it 2 Geminis out of 5, because just like Gemini, this game is challenging and unique. 
I had to beat Peter and Rod in the tournament.  No joke.

25 comments:

Brandon said... [Reply]

Glad you suffered through this game to give us a good review, haha. I did like the show when I was younger.

Gansita said... [Reply]

LOL! Good review, I think I wouldn't get fun with that game, I'd rather a sudoku.

Paul said... [Reply]

lol the show was awesome at least

Les Payne said... [Reply]

I met Nitro about a month ago

Mr. Knowitall said... [Reply]

this is some good stuff

Saul Goodman said... [Reply]

wow, pretty cool

Guy Movie Blogger said... [Reply]

HAHAHA Peter and Rod? Why am I not surprised?

And man, I remember the old Gladiators. Malibu was the best... the stoner, surfer guy that got knocked the fuck out on live TV!

BökChöd said... [Reply]

Classic!

Nostalgist said... [Reply]

champion gladiator "balls".. i bet they're huge^^

jura1991 said... [Reply]

nice

Kikimora said... [Reply]

Great! :D

Donkote said... [Reply]

haha well at least it wasn't as bad as some of the other games

Philosophical Jibberish said... [Reply]

I loved this show when I was a kid

Ben Dover said... [Reply]

I don't know why, but it's fun to read reviews about crappy snes games :D

I be ragin' said... [Reply]

that gives me something to think about

Life of Leisure said... [Reply]

nice, thanks for sharing

Geeked Out said... [Reply]

very interesting... thanks

Coincidence or not said... [Reply]

that's good to know

Fat Stacks said... [Reply]

looking forward to your next update

Copyboy said... [Reply]

Now when you say the original gladiators you're referring to the one from the early 90s? Not the early 2000s. haha Gemini! loved her!!!

HondaX said... [Reply]

cool man...thanks

dee jey said... [Reply]

love it

headphones777 said... [Reply]

dudes are so buff

Anonfourtwenty said... [Reply]

I remember this!

The Angry Vegetarian said... [Reply]

I remember being into American Gladiators like a mofo. I even had a Laser action figure (which sucked because it could only rotate the waist and move it's weirdly bent arms - he got his ass kicked by many GI Joes). Because I was so into I got the game for Christmas. Not wanting to feel like I'm betraying the Gladiators I played the hell out of that game and learned to master every single event. Every time I realized what a waste it was.

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