REAL GAMES - BASS MASTERS CLASSIC

Oh look, a fishing game.  (Too tired to make a witty comment)

Bass Masters Classic is a game in which you fish for bass.  You will never catch bass, but that is the goal of the game.  In fact, you will catch everything else, from pike to trout, but no bass.  Bass do not exist.  One might even say that the bass is a lie.

Alright, when I play a fishing game, I expect to be on a boat with a selection of lures and reels and such.  But not in this game.  Oh no, you have to first buy everything you will need from the reels and rods to fish finders and boat engines. Of course, you don't have the money for jack shit, so buy whatever you can afford and get on your boat.  You also have to navigate the boat, which is incredibly difficult due to the...

I'm on a boat, mother fucker.  Don't you ever forget. 

Fucking controls.  When you are in the boat, it is nearly impossible to steer the thing straight.  Expect to get caught up in rocks and spend the next 15 minutes trying to get unstuck.  Then there's the casting controls.  First you place the cursor where you want to cast, then it has one of those gauges that require you to push the button right as it hits the line.  Don't bother.  I've hit that line dead on at least a dozen times, and it still casts wherever the hell it feels like.  Last, there's the actual fishing controls.  Meh.  Requires expert timing, but it is the least flawed of the bunch.

The music in this game is...unique.  When you are fishing, it basically sounds as if you are underwater, complete with the annoying bubbles coming out of your ears sound.  However, the music for the rest of the game is one 10 second sample looped into oblivion, so make sure to turn that crap off as soon as possible.

Remember, it's okay to listen to water, but don't try to sing along.

There are not many visuals in this game.   There's water, the boat, your lure, and 4 types of fish.  They're decent.  The cut scenes, however, range from strange to just creepy (like the guy starring at the tv in the ending below).  I don't think that was what they were going for, but that's what we got.

The gameplay for this is VERY realistic, because I can't catch fish in real life either.  Unfortunately, I do not enjoy this game as much as real life fishing.  However, I can not figure out what to blame for this.  This game genuinely pissed me off, and I have no idea why.  Maybe it's because it's challenging, but that is usually a good thing, so again...I don't know.

I'm giving this game 1 and a half geriatric fishermen out of 5.  If you like fishing games, you might actually like this.  I don't know.  I can only judge it based on how much fun I had personally, and that was next to none.  Tomorrow I get to review Bass Masters Classic PRO.  It's not even a sequel, it's a god damn "enhanced version", whatever the hell that means.

Pay attention during the 0:25 mark, it says I caught 0 fish and yet I won 1st place, and those 0 fish weighed a total of 113 lbs.  Glitch much?