REAL GAMES - AL UNSER JRS ROAD TO THE TOP

Who the fuck is Al Unser Jr and why does he have his own Super Nintendo game?

Apparently, Al Unser Jr is a retired racecar driver that has won two Indy 500's.  He was also Wild World of Sports Athlete of 1994.  He's also a drunk driver that doesn't even stop to help the people he has hit.  But most importantly, he has a few games.  One for the original Nintendo, one for the arcades, one on the PC, and this one.  I don't know anything about NASCAR or racing in general, but I do know some names, and Unser isn't one of them.  So why does this asshat have his own game?  Fuck if I know.

Starting off, we can try out different styles of racing, ranging from go-karts and snow mobiles to something called IROC and finally Indy cars.  I don't know what IROC stands for, but they look like muscle cars...which are pretty cool, so I'm okay with this.  Once you get familiar with the stages you can start the actual game.

The controls are dumbed down to 2 buttons, sort of.  There's a go button, and a stop button, also known as gas and brake.  However, letting go of the gas button does the exact same thing as pushing the brake button, so there's actually only one button.  There is no turbo, N2O, or even sharp turn buttons.  Just go and stop going.

If you have ever played a generic racing game for Nintendo or early Super Nintendo, then you know what to expect for audio.  Fun Fact: I usually mute racing games and make my own VROOOM sounds.  Why?  Because it sounds more realistic than the recycled shit they use in every one of these games.  And because it's fun.

You hearing this shit, son?  Let me rev dis engine for yo ass.  VROOM BITCH!  VROOOOOM!

The graphics in this game are shameful.  No effort was put into these stages or vehicles at all.  This kind of shit was typical for Nintendo, but did they really think they could get away with it for the SNES?  A system that gave us amazing racing games like F-Zero, Super Mario Kart, and the Top Gear titles?  These graphics are absolute garbage and a complete disrespect to the racing genre.

And finally the gameplay.  Well...it's a short and easy racing game.  Every time you beat a racing style, you have a "road to the top" stage which is fucking retarded.  Drive up the edge of a mountain with no safety rails as fast as you can!  Why?  Cause that's the title of this game.  Sure, it could have been a metaphor for making your way to the top of the racing circuit, but Al Unser Jr doesn't know what a metaphor is.

Dang man!  That is one big metaphor!

This game would have been decent for the NES, but it's a total joke on the SNES.  It gets 1 guy on a go-kart out of 5 and a timeout in the corner.  I want you to think about what you did, game.

I believe this picture speaks for itself.