REAL GAMES - ARCADE'S GREATEST HITS: THE ATARI COLLECTION 1

I can already smell the hate that this review is going to generate.

First off, let me say that this review is going to be different from the rest.  There is no reason to discuss the graphics or audio present, as they are composed of the most basic of shapes and a series of beeps.  There is no story with stupid plots to dissect, nor dialog to exploit.  These games are called classics because they have already proven themselves as being fun and addictive.

Arcade's Greatest Hits: The Atari Collection 1 is actually six arcade games in one.  Unfortunately, most of these games should have stayed at the arcades.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love these games.  I have fond memories of playing arcade machines, and I even have a tattoo of Pac-Man eating power pellets around my arm.  Video games, regardless if they are at the arcade, on home consoles, or on a cell phone...they have all played a huge part in my life.  So why did I say these classic games should have stayed at the arcade?  Keep reading.

The biggest problem with these games are the controls.  They are a major problem whenever you're dealing with an arcade port.  Trying to play games like Centipede and Tempest with the Super Nintendo d-pad just feels wrong.  If I'm going to play these games, I want the big rolling cue ball and the strange knob controls.  That may sound a bit pretentious, but there is a reason behind it.  Not only does the SNES control feel strange, but it actually hinders the gameplay of some games.  Tempest suffers a lot from this, and Battlezone is damn near unplayable.

Now that's what I'm talking about!  Spinny knob thingie!  Buttons everywhere!  Fuck yeah.

The last point I have to cover is why games like this exist.  This game was released for the Super Nintendo, Sega Saturn, and Sony Playstation.  All of the classic games found in this title were already on the Nintendo.  These games have since been ported to just about every system available, and I have to ask why.  Who are these games being made for?  I mean, I love me some Centipede, but do I need it on the 360?  Further more, why these games in particular?  Super Breakout?  Asteroids?  Yes, these are classics, but I can think of a lot more popular classics to choose from.  This list is pretty damn mediocre.

Wait a second...this isn't Asteroids!

How do I rate this game?  I can't rate each game separately because they are already known classics.  I can't rate this as a typical SNES game, as it's just a collection of old games.  So, I have to rate this by fun and fun alone.  Sadly, The Atari Collection 1 only scores 2 alien ships out of 5.  With a better lineup of classic games and better controls this game could have been a classic itself.

Since none of these games actually have an ending, here's a game of centipede where I topped the high scores.  Woo.