Thursday, October 14, 2010

REAL GAMES - ABC MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Fuck this game.

First off, let me apologize for how long it took to get this up.  I played 17 freaking weeks in game trying to get to the SuperBowl for my ending victory picture.  I then found out, there is no Super Bowl.  It just goes on and on and on.  Thanks for wasting my time, ABC.  Anyway, lets get back to why ABC Monday Night Football fails on every aspect.

Right off the bat, we are greeted by Frank Gifford.  I hope you guys like this fucker's face, because it is all over the damn place.  Menu screen?  GIFFORD!  In between every quarter?  GIFFORD!!  After every god damn successful play?  GIFFORD!!!  This game should have been called Gifford's Big Fat Fucking Head Football.

How about you SHUT THE FUCK UP FRANK GIFFORD?
If you have ever played a football game, on any system, you should know the controls by now.  They haven't changed in 15 years.  Nothing to really say here.

Audio is alright.  It has the Monday Night Football theme that even people that hate football know by heart.  Other than that, the sound effects are basically what you would expect.  Poorly rendered grunts and whistles.  I'm not gonna count off for this because there isn't a whole lot of sounds you can add to a football game to begin with.

Now for what really pisses me off about this game.  Aside from Frank Gifford's fat head, the graphics in this game are terrible.  They must have spent every ounce of effort and every penny on making Frank Gifford look good, because everything else in this game looks early Nintendo-ish.

Actually playing the game is annoying as well.  This is basically a touch football game, because there is no avoidance at all.  If you have the ball, you run half the speed as everyone else, and if the opposing team even looks at you the wrong way, you fall over.  I quickly learned that the only way to win this game is to use nothing but pass plays.  Once I figured that, I finished 17 weeks with a flawless winning streak.  There is no balance in this game at all.

Here's my Quarterback...and my defensive line, receivers, etc.
So what is my overall verdict?  What are you, fucking blind?  This game is horrible.  Bad graphics (for a Super Nintendo game), generic sounds, and retarded game mechanics.  I'm giving this game 1 poorly drawn angry crowd out of 5.  If you like early football games, this might be tolerable, but it is still not good by any stretch of the imagination.

Here's the best you'll ever get for an ending.  Big sweaty men making out.

22 comments:

ElChristo said... [Reply]

haha, I think i'll give this one a miss.

Stav88os said... [Reply]

Cool story bro!;)

Center50 said... [Reply]

haha love the pic/ caption. I thought this game was cool as a kid, but in retrospect...yeh, it was pretty weak :P

Pope Smurf said... [Reply]

Agree, not the best of his era.

Rnlxndr said... [Reply]

This was the 'it' game back in it's day.

Gansita said... [Reply]

hahaha I never liked sports games, at least not to play in a videogame.

Swift Love said... [Reply]

haha, that game sucks

IndustrialHaze said... [Reply]

your rants make me laugh its funny
the more ranting the better

s.c. said... [Reply]

At least you can throw the cartridge at someone. Those fuckers are heavy

Insurance Advice Guy said... [Reply]

lol funny review. but that sucks that theres no superbowl

icøn¡c said... [Reply]

NOSTALGIA ATTACK

glosey said... [Reply]

nostalgia'd

MikeNeuman said... [Reply]

I remember SNES vividly and I can't believe something with this horrible graphics was on it. Thanks again ABC promotion department.

SC2 Strats said... [Reply]

hahaha so old, but good.

Longkid said... [Reply]

haha ive played that!

SMITTY said... [Reply]

i used to play this game 24/7!

Muhunty said... [Reply]

the game rocked :)

Fuuuuuuuu said... [Reply]

I loved this game!

The Angry Vegetarian said... [Reply]

hahahaha

dirtfarmer said... [Reply]

lol sounds pretty lame.

amidoinitrite? said... [Reply]

cool thanks for sharing :)

Smikey said... [Reply]

I don't play too many nintendo games anymore, but your review made me lol :D thanks!

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