Tuesday, October 12, 2010

REAL GAMES - A.S.P. AIR STRIKE PATROL

Did you ever get that talk from your parents about how they were not mad, but disappointed? That's pretty much how I feel about this game.

The box art for the game depicts a couple of planes commencing in a dog fight. The box also tells us that this game is an aerial shooter in which we make tactical strikes on land forces while engaging in dangerous battles with enemy planes. Sounds pretty sweet, right? Well...not so much.

Technically, the game did include blowing stuff up on the land and the occasional dog fight, so I guess I can't be mad about that.  But this game calls itself an aerial shooter, and while I suppose you could call it that, it is not the aerial shooter that most people are familiar with.  When I hear aerial shooter, I instantly think of the vertical scrolling shooters where you dodge enemy fire and acquire power ups to your weapons.  This game, however, is nothing like that

Starting the game, we are given the mission details.  Our first goal is to go in and blow up some radars.  Got it.  Then the game takes us to HQ, and the first problem arises.  Nothing in the HQ menu is labeled or recognizable.  After about 10 minutes of trial and error, I figure out how to start the damn mission and how to change the plane.  This is a necessity, because the default plane is a piece of crap.

As always, I tried to figure out the controls first.  The first thing you'll notice is how stiff the flight controls are.  I guess that's there for realism, but it just adds a level of difficulty that isn't needed.  The starter plane has a boost, flare, a worthless machine gun, and a missile that uses the same targeting system I use when I'm drunk and need to use the bathroom.  The other plane loses the boost button, missile becomes bomb, and your gun becomes useful.

At least I found the bathroom.  That's more than the missile can do.
The music for this game is the same song repeated over and over.  What's even worse is that the song sounds like Danger Zone.  Played on a kazoo.  Somewhere, Kenny Loggins is rolling over in his grave.

Unlike my career, I'm still alive.
Graphically speaking, this game has a lot of problems.  The goals of each mission are very specific on what you can and can not blow up.  Unfortunately, everything looks the same.  I ended up having to redo the same missions multiple times because I couldn't tell the difference between the beige square and the other beige square with a single green pixel difference.

Finally, we have the gameplay.  The missions range from easy to ridiculous, and often times the objective is not clear.  Having limited fuel and ammo is a bit tedious as you will have to redo the same mission multiple times before your objective is complete.  However, it was an interesting take on an aerial shooter, and an interesting experience.

It's hard to give this game a fair rating, since I was expecting something completely different.  If I judge it by its own merit, Air Strike Patrol is an original game plagued with a lot of problems.  This game could have easily been made in the more traditional vertical scrolling shooter format, and it would have better in my opinion.  Therefore, I give Air Strike Patrol 2 annoying generals out of 5.

Following this, there was some rant telling me to join the Air Force.

38 comments:

ElChristo said... [Reply]

haha, I think you should lower your expectations when playing these old games.

Good review all the same though :)

The Situation said... [Reply]

Lol come on dude, you can't be disappointed with old games. Reminds be of that comanche helicopter game. Forgot what it's called...

Sebastian said... [Reply]

I second ElChristo's statement.

Classically Trained Nub said... [Reply]

Maybe disappointed was the wrong word. I was just really confused when the description on the box said Aeriel shooter, and yet it was a style of aerial shooter that I have never played before.

@The Situation - I think the game you're talking about is Desert Strike, which is part of the same "Strike" series of games as this one.

KillerKun said... [Reply]

Whenever you play oldgames you either get nostalgic and love them, or just simply hate them e___e

Trimputes said... [Reply]

Sometimes older games suprise you and you enjoy them more than the simple eye-candy games that are released in modern times. A lot of my favorite games on PC are a little old, like Worms, Baldur's Gate, etc.

s.c. said... [Reply]

Yeah this reminds me of Desert Strike. That was such an epic game. I still have my copy for my old Genesis console. Might have to dust it off and give it a go again

icøn¡c said... [Reply]

Lower your standards, go play some battletoads.

ilikeicecream said... [Reply]

BOX ART FTW

Joe Flannery said... [Reply]

That's one thing the old games had was a very inticing looking box that looked a sweet game and turned out to be crap.

darkmanx said... [Reply]

Lol I agree with christo, theres a ton of games with really great covers that are horrible, great review none the less.

Delfin said... [Reply]

lol unlike my career... thats good

musicnote said... [Reply]

lol kenny loggins with kazoo

Home Alone Stoned said... [Reply]

dude how did you make your blogs layout so badass

musicnote said... [Reply]

Coyote Bluff in Amarillo! Home of the burger from HELL. I know it well, good sir! thank you for the comments

Woahbajeez said... [Reply]

Taught us to despise cover art.

I Rate Shit said... [Reply]

You can't judge an SNES game like that! c'mooooon

MacPCharmony said... [Reply]

I love these old games.. nostalgia

Swift Love said... [Reply]

i still have my SNES... i played Street Fighter 2 yesterday... win?

Fuuuuuuuu said... [Reply]

i nostalgia'd and i lost

amidoinitrite? said... [Reply]

I agree with MacPC

The Drifter said... [Reply]

haha. I nostalgia'd as well. Maybe hard enough to remind me of my nerd side. Ah, Street Figther...

Slumph said... [Reply]

hahaha, love the top pic =D

Cool little post, please check out my Razer Lycosa review on my blog =D

Derek said... [Reply]

You mean there were SNES games where the box art suggested a game worse than was inside (OK except SMW)

Longkid said... [Reply]

Very cool post.

Tpadz said... [Reply]

As others have said, you really can't have high expectations of these old games.

Barry White said... [Reply]

AWESOME!

kokiloten said... [Reply]

nice :D
nostalgia

dirtfarmer said... [Reply]

never played that one. guess i'm not missing out lol.

Fuuuuuuuu said... [Reply]

lol at the bathroom pic!

btw, check out my new post on GTL Everyday :)

-ITW- said... [Reply]

el o el at snes games

Gansita said... [Reply]

hahaha, well, I got a lot of fun with snes.

The Illest said... [Reply]

Very nice, SNES!

Reilly said... [Reply]

hah loved this !

amidoinitrite? said... [Reply]

this is classic!

btw, check out my new bubbles on Enhanced by MS Paint :)

Erie Enthusiast said... [Reply]

Got a laugh out of it. Good review.

Center50 said... [Reply]

Excellent review, you could do this for a living, if it weren't for that job market being oversaturated in the first place. Too bad you didnt do this 4 or 5 years ago =/

zorancro1 said... [Reply]

old games bring nice memories to me :)

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