Sunday, October 17, 2010


It appears that Enix produces either absolute shit (like 7th Saga), or absolute perfection.  There is no in between.  Thankfully, ActRaiser is fucking awesome.  I was almost tempted to just leave the review at that, but I didn't think it said enough.  So here we go...

ActRaiser is a game in which you play as Master.  As Master, you can clear the land of monsters through your avatar, help tiny civilizations of people grow by using your god powers, and send your little angel out to fuck shit up as well.  This game is 50% simulation, 50% side scroller, and 100% completely badass.  Regardless of what you're doing in this game, whether it be raining down fire from your cloud-mobile, or smiting demons with your Conan-ish avatar, this game provides enjoyment for everyone.

When I asked master for help clearing a path, I was expecting him to give us tools.  Not a god damn fireball.
We start off the game with your angel bro waking you up to tell you about some demons that need their asses kicked.  So you send your avatar of ass kicking to go down and do just that.  When you're done there, you hover over the tiny people and help them with their petty human problems.  Then they offer you gifts and sacrifices so that you don't drown them all in a flood.

Next time, try to offer your master something better than wheat.

Control wise, this is as basic as you get.  Everything uses a single button menu during the sim parts, and we get the standard attack and jump set up for the side scrolling.  Excellent.

With excellent controls, we get excellent music.  The entire game is filled with beautiful background music and manly sound effects.  This is probably one of the best soundtracks I have heard in a long time, including the shit found in modern day games.

Visuals adds to this trifecta of win with its stunning graphics.  I was surprised to find out just how early this game was actually made.  Why does one of the earliest games for the Super Nintendo have better graphics than 90% of the games released years later for the same system?  What kind of backwards logic is that?

Last, but definitely not least, we come to the gameplay.  I'm not a fan of simulation games, and I have played so many side scrollers that they all blur together, but this game is enjoyable in both aspects.  It has just enough to be fun and challenging, but not enough to become boring and irritating.

As I said earlier, Enix has no middle ground when it comes to making games.  7th Saga was my first (and only to date) 0 out of 5, and ActRaiser has just scored my first perfect 5 naked baby angels out of 5.  It's kinda sad when you realize that 7th Saga was made 3 years AFTER ActRaiser.  What the fuck happened, Enix?

The ending literally just says "The End", so here's the scene after you beat the final boss.  After this, you travel to all of the towns you built and saved just to admire your awesomeness, and then the credits roll.


Copyboy said... [Reply]

Probably 'cause they didn't know how many Naked Baby Angels the game was rated.

Blogster said... [Reply]

awesome keep it up

Mario said... [Reply]

that was pretty interesting

Gansita said... [Reply]

hahaha and It looks like a demoniac game. I haven't seen a good ending XD

Reilly said... [Reply]

never played this

Sebastian said... [Reply]

Haha, awesome.

Buff Drinklots said... [Reply]

I can't wait until you hit Drakkhen. Fucking beat Drakkehn, it's the weirdest fucking game ever.

The Angry Vegetarian said... [Reply]

lol @ the lol

The Situation said... [Reply]

Seems like every old game has a boring ending.

ElChristo said... [Reply]

5 out of 5?! holy shit!
Thats a first

BunnySMG said... [Reply]

This was a pretty sweet game, but I don't know if I'd give it 5 out of 5. Maybe 4-4.5, but not a full 5.

Delfin said... [Reply]

i remember the days. side scroller ftw

Classically Trained Nub said... [Reply]

@BunnySMG - The way I rate a game is to start it off with a perfect 5. As I play, I deduct points for anything that hinders the fun of the game. Actraiser did not contain any of those hindrances, and it was fun from start to finish. Thus, it is a perfect game in my opinion.

zorancro1 said... [Reply]

LOL pic is hilarious but i dont like strategy games im more for shooter games

SMITTY said... [Reply]

this game was so fuckin win. snes is a beast.

glosey said... [Reply]

graet pics

Galwarrior said... [Reply]

Nice Update :)

Nyuu said... [Reply]

hehe cool

IndustrialHaze said... [Reply]

sounds kinda cool

icøn¡c said... [Reply]

Ending sounds perfect to me.

Banks said... [Reply]

hahahhaahah nice one man keep em comming

dirtfarmer said... [Reply]

looks awesome. what system was it?

Daytona Jones said... [Reply]

haha nice read and good pics I like your stylez

BunnySMG said... [Reply]

Thanks for the info C T Nub.

Dirt: SNES, everything here is SNES.

Cliff Miller said... [Reply]

LoL, good post bra.

Churapotatochips said... [Reply]

lol nice post, im entertained.

Come At Me Bro said... [Reply]

Sweet pics!

Alphalpha said... [Reply]

That looks awesome, where can i find it?

Jonathan Amador said... [Reply]

youre gonna play all games there is? Cool, wanna see where this's going :D

cannabis man said... [Reply]

LOL that was funny even though its in the flood :/

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