REAL GAMES - AERO THE ACRO-BAT

Well, my vacation from platformers was short lived.  And after playing this, I desperately need another one.

During the console wars of the 90's, every console had to have a mascot.  Everyone knows the Sega systems had Sonic the Hedgehog and Nintendo had Mario, but what you may not have known is that even game producers had to have mascots.  Sunsoft, known for mostly its shitty franchise licensed games, had to have one of their own.  And that is why I am having to review the pile of guano known as Aero the Acro-bat.

We start the game off in a circus, with our furry rodent in spandex bouncing off trampolines and riding unicycles across tightropes.  Collect junk food and beat up clowns...and I'm already bored with this game.

This game has some pretty dumb controls.  Unlike most mascots at the time, Aero cannot defeat enemies by jumping on their heads.  Oh no, he has to perform some sort of corkscrew plancha midair like a god damn luchador.  Unfortunately, this move can't hit a target for shit.  You also have a fireball attack that uses the stars you collect through out the levels.  But even this simple idea is flawed by the controls.  In order to throw these stars, you must first come to a complete stop.  It sounds easy, if not retarded, but this game uses momentum physics.  So you keep running even when you're not touching the controls.  This makes the star attack completely pointless.

While looking for pics of luchadors I found this.  E C W!  E C W!

Have you ever been to a circus?  Did you immediately go home and download circus music and have a jam out session?  If so, this game was made for you.  For the rest of us normal people, the music is just plain annoying.  The only other sound of interest would be when Aero gets hit, in which he does the Michael Jackson crotch grab scream.  Yeeow!

I'm not really sure what they were going for with the graphics in this game.  Everything is detailed and highly rendered, but the effort is wasted.  They took the most uncreative backgrounds and platforming elements, and made them look pretty.  According to Mythbusters and this game, you can indeed polish shit.

Shit has never looked so shiny.

The gameplay relies on gimmicks to sell the game.  Launch yourself through the air with cannons!  Ride your unicycle across the tightrope without a net!  Jump through the hoops of fire while avoiding the pit of death!...etc.  These are all interesting ideas on paper, but when they are applied, it comes out feeling like the same old crap we have all played a million times.  There are so many ideas possible with an acrobatic bat, but they chose the most boring route possible.

For a platforming game, this is okay.  But to introduce a mascot, it fails pretty hard.  I would much rather play a Sonic or Mario game.  Hell, I would rather play a Bubsy game.  It gets 2 deep fried rodents out of 5.  Hopefully the sequel is better.

No, it's not.  But it should have been.